Affirmation: “I am brave.”
Journal Prompt:
What can I do, right now, to love myself more?
Self-Care Ritual:
Have you ever seen someone doing something brave, that made you feel pretty anxious, and thought to yourself, “If I only had that kind of courage!”?
Ever looked back at a scenario from your past, and wished you’d been braver?
Chances are, if you’re breathing right now, you have… probably more than once.
We all face challenges, and need to be brave at times. But bravery requires rising above our flight instinct, which is strongest in these situations. It’s during these challenges, when our inner ego desires to protect us, and avoid the risk of pain or loss.
And I’m not saying it’s not okay to be afraid. It’s perfectly normal, actually. But what happens when we’re just too scared to move past our fear? What happens when we want to run away?
We’re all pretty good at acting brave, even if we don’t truly feel that way. We’ll jump in., and power on, because it’s what is expected of us. But let’s face it, being brave is sometimes a lot easier said, than done.
When we’re scared, we’re out of balance, and we start to feel not-so-good. And when we indulge the fears, our confidence suffers. And we often end up creating a habit of not being brave, just because it is easier to do. We eventually come to a moment where we look back, and discover we regret the risks we didn’t take.
But here’s the thing, we’re NOT born brave!
In fact, that’s why babies cry so much,… they’re afraid!
They’re totally helpless, and thrust into a world they know nothing about. Their fight or flight instinct kicks in IMMEDIATELY, and they begin to cry… right after they’re born! But when they’re given love, and tender care, they come to realize they’re safe. And over time, they learn to rely on their caregiver.
That’s right, they LEARN to rise above it.
Courage isn’t an endowed ability, it’s learned… It’s a skill.
And like all skills, you can become a master of it, with practice.
But, in the words of my husband, “You don’t become first chair trombone, by purchasing a trombone. You become first chair, by committing to practice on your trombone every day, for as long as it takes.”
In other words, you CAN build your bravery skill, if you’re willing to commit to practicing being brave.
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As a girl, I learned from the women around me. And the overwhelming lesson I learned from these mothers, wives, teachers, nurses, and caregivers, was to put others first, and be human second.
As women, we’re trained to act as caretakers. We’re filled with an innate sense of responsibility for the well being of others, and we’re compelled to put their health and happiness before our own. And we act out the scenario, every single day, over and over. And we’re simultaneously training others to expect that we’ll, internally and externally, directly and indirectly, prioritize them above ourselves.
Within this vicious cycle, we show up exhausted, get burnt out, and often work even when we’re sick. And the people who’ve come to expect our care, actually end up getting less than the best version of us. And likely less than our best care. For sure, we’re living far less than our optimal lives!
Choosing the scary path, that involves possibly disappointing someone, in an effort to take care of you, is true bravery. But it’s also the choice to love yourself. And in choosing to love yourself, you’re also choosing…
your health,
your wellness,
your self-esteem,
your value!
On the surface, such an act appears selfish. But to give ourselves the time and energy we deserve, isn’t wrong. We’re simply using our personal resources to promote our own well-being, instead of someone else’s.
When our needs aren’t being met, we end up using more of our energy coping, or seeking to meet our needs. Which means we have less to give others. But when those needs ARE met, when our cup is full up, we have greater energy at our disposal. We can then show up energized, contribute with more joy, for longer, and we avoid our own burnout.
It’s up to us, to be brave, and to practice the everyday acts of self-care, which brings me to the self-care aspect of bravery. Here are a few rituals to put into practice, to increase your bravery.
* Acknowledge that you’re afraid.
It’s alright to feel fear sometimes. Trying to repress it, will only make it bigger, and more frightening. Instead, sit with it. Let it tell you its story. Then rewrite that story for yourself, with a positive outcome statement, and let it go.
* Dig deep.
Some fears don’t take much, but other times you need to go pretty deep within, to find your courage. Be willing to go through a few shadows, and a bit of discomfort. You’ll eventually get to the pure bravery, which is what you’re after.
* Listen to your inner higher self.
Once you’ve done the deep dive work, you’ll be better able to hear your intuition. Learn to sit in quiet meditation, and ignore the static your fear can produce. Your intuition knows, and is ALWAYS there to guide you!
* Keep your head up.
Everyone is afraid sometimes. Don’t ever face a problem with your head down, because you’re NOT alone in being afraid. Keep your chin held high, and face the world head on, with pride in yourself for being brave enough to walk forward!
* Don’t stop trying.
It’s going to take more than once, to find your bravery. Sometimes it takes many attempts. But persistence and courage go hand in hand. Stick with it, and when you finally solve your problem, you’ll feel that much better for having stuck with it.
So remember…
Being brave is not the absence of fear.
Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, and the insecurity,
but deciding that something else is more important…
loving YOU!
So keep moving, in spite of the fear!